'Playground Love'

Absolutely adore this song at the moment! Its so evocative and yet lulling (is that a word?!) at once. Not that I need to be anymore lulled than I already am (lack of work today is baaaaddddddd). Also, 'The Virgin Suicides' is one of my favourite books and films ever so it's an all-round winner!


A couple of weeks I read Eugendies' most recent book - 'The Marriage Plot' - and I have to say I was a bit disappointed. I enjoyed it as a good read, but it just didn't bowl me away in the way 'Middlesex', especially, did. A lot of people have suggested that the main characters in 'The Marriage Plot' aren't very accessible because of their privileged student life at Brown, etc. - I didn't really find that the problem (Cambridge has inured me to such people!!). It just didn't have a certain 'Je ne said quoi' I guess. That said, Eugendies' insight into certain elements of the 'human psyche' surprised me sometimes, and definitely made me laugh - this is kind of gross but I found the bit when, after she first slept with Leonard, Madeleine worries about getting a UTI hilarious! How do writers think of stuff like that?! Especially men writing about women... I guess you just have to be really, really observant! 

'It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are'

I came across this quote from e. e. cummings this evening and it really resonates with me. It sounds cliche but 2011 was the year I grew up. In a big way. And a hard way (so hard). But, I think I can honestly say it was all for the good. I'm not talking monumental revelations, more a coming to terms with myself, with what I want, and what I value. Which is pretty life-changing! Dad bought me a book for Christmas - 'Why be happy when you could be normal?', a kind of memoir by Jeanette Winterson - and this idea jumped out at me - love for the self is 'a salmon-like determination to swim upstream'; 'the right to swim upstream' is the 'right of the pursuit of happiness'. I guess 2011 was the year I nearly stopped swimming, but I didn't and I can honestly say, now, that I am proud of myself. I am proud that I carried on, but also pleased with who I am - that I love beauty, that I'm interested in this life, that I love books and art and music, that I'm still young and have ideals, of justice and truth and goodness. So 2012 is good, and I have recognised (and value. so much.) my right to pursue happiness. And through this blog I will document this pursuit! And I'm excited!!